20 Surprising Rules The Cast Of Breaking Amish Must Absolutely Follow
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Every reality TV show has its own rules to try and keep some semblance of logic and rationale in the actions of usually young adults or even teenagers, who find themselves getting attention and the spotlight for the first time in their lives. Without rules, teenagers will do almost anything to show off— and even with the rules curtailing their outlandish behavior, things don't always go as planned, but it does make for good television. TLC's, Breaking Amish, and the spin-off show, Return to Amish, are both no exception to these rules, but even more so than the stars of other shows, the cast of Breaking Amish are frequently finding themselves in the tabloids for scandal after scandal and lie after lie.
Some of these lies include the implicit involvement of the studio themselves. We'll get into some of these scandals in more detail, but we still have to ask ourselves— was the truth supposed to get out? This kind of scandal creates buzz and buzz gets views for the show— remember, there's no such thing as "bad publicity."
Due to the restrictive nature of the Amish lifestyle, it seems inevitable that a few corners had to be cut and a few stories altered for the studio to ever reach the kind of compromise where ostensibly demure and simple folk would even agree to appear on a television show in the first place. It seems contradictory in nature, and it is. The cast, therefore, had lots of convoluted rules to follow— both from their Amish communities, and their new studio employers, some of them might even surprise you.
Trouble from Day One
The reason studios have to give actors so many gag clauses, non-disclosure agreements, and public behavior rules are because studios go to great lengths to "dress up" their reality shows to make them seem more interesting without seeming any less legitimate. However, in the case of Breaking Amish, they clearly had to use more than a band-aid to hold their plot together, as it very quickly came out that many of the stars were not at all what they portrayed themselves as.
By the release of the third episode, viewers already had some serious doubts. Abe and Rebecca, pictured, "met" on the show, and apparently, hit it off quite quickly. One reason for this may have been that they actually already had a child together, despite "never having met before the show."
The studio had also been aware of this fact and couldn't possibly have thought that they could keep it under wraps forever, so perhaps, this is one scandal that was "organized" by the producers of the show. Obviously, there are people who know Abe and Rebecca and who, Mennonite or not, will find a way sooner or later to tell the world what they know. This is further indicated by the way the studio handles these revelations, integrating them into the script and making the lies and scandal a part of the show.
Microwave? What's a microwave?
Despite billing the show as "completely unscripted reality television" (yeah, I'm sure everyone believed that), the studio actually put a lot of pressure on (forced, if you prefer) the cast to act in certain ways and say certain things. Not to throw too much shade at the cast, but they aren't exactly accomplished method actors, and when they say things that have been scripted, it can range from painfully obvious to downright cringe-worthy.
Nonetheless, TLC must have felt that it was authentic enough, but above all, it played hugely into the stereotypes surrounding Amish communities. In season one, we see the cast all take the plane for the first time, looking in shock and awe at the Manhattan city-scape, whilst praying for their safe travel and forgiveness of their sins.
For a lot of Amish and Mennonites, using technology to travel (especially for work-related purposes) is not expressly forbidden, and the idea that Amish don't know what tall buildings look like is a bit of a stretch. There is also a great scene, where the now-famous, Katie Stoltz appears to have a lot of trouble working an elevator. It was awkward to watch the first time, but once you find out that Katie had been using computers and internet as far back as 2010, it becomes hilarious when you watch it again. "Completely unscripted," indeed.
Relationships = Drama
While it may be clear to us now, after several seasons of the show, that the studio knew much more about the cast's lives than they let on in the beginning, it was no doubt all deliberate, in order for the scandals to be created at the right times so they could be addressed on the show in a way that made it seem like the cast-member lied to us all— including the producers. These "revelations" make for good television, and it almost seems like most of the cast was chosen specifically for their spotty and convoluted pasts, rather than how Amish they actually were, to begin with.
The studio had complete control over how the revelations were played out because the cast themselves could only say what they were allowed to say, and much of the buzz was created by letting old acquaintances of the cast creep out of the woodwork and set the rumour-mill running. We quickly find out that bad-boy, Jeremiah, who curses constantly on the show— a very un-Amish thing to do— not only has three kids and an ex-wife but hasn't even been in the Amish community for a whole four years! Further, when it comes to his relationships on the show, every one of them is orchestrated by the producers— when they start and how they end.
The stricter the Amish, the harder they fall
If there are two things we all "know" about the Amish, it's that they reject technology and base their lives on a big dose of religious fundamentalism. The studio does everything it can to play-up this image of puritan lifestyle so that it appears all the more shocking when cast-members inevitably break the rules— thereby "breaking Amish" one ill-conceived action at a time.
The reality is, however, that many Amish communities aren't quite as strict as the TLC producers would have you believe. Most Amish and Mennonite communities completely allow the use of technology and electricity in the workplace.
In fact, it's more important to many Amish when looking for work that there be a "Christian environment" (remember what I said about not cursing?), rather than only using manual tools on the job. Indeed, one of the leading Amish-employing industries in America is the Recreational Vehicle (or RV) manufacturing industry. As ironic as it may appear that something that embodies the luxury and freedom afforded by technology would be built from the ground up by Amish hands, the industry is seen as essential to the continued thriving and stability of many Amish industries. I'm pretty sure if your uncle builds gearboxes for 5-tonne RVs, then you can work an elevator, right, Katie?
The illusion of innocence
Other logical conclusions of leading a religious and puritan life are the ideals of abstinence and chastity. While these may be true of Amish culture, as they are in many cultures, there is a noticeable gap between the ideal and the reality. This is evidenced by how the studio hid much of the impure past of these cast-members from us for as long as they could, then capitalised on the revelation when the truth came out.
The story of Katie Stoltz for instance, where we follow Katie on her path to discovering the modern world and her passion for modelling, is eventually revealed to be less of a discovery and more the realisation of a long-held ambition. As previously mentioned, Katie had always wanted to be a model, and was using the internet to enter various competitions and send profile-shots to modelling companies in New York as far back as 2010.
While the studio did a good job of making her as plain-Jane as they could for the first season of the show (remember— vanity is a sin!), it's difficult to hide her captivating smile and great bone structure. Indeed, you could be forgiven for thinking that the whole reason Katie agreed to do the show was to achieve her dream of becoming a model— and it certainly got her where she wanted to be. While it's great that she finally got her break-through it does little for the authenticity of the show to think that she never had any love or respect for the Amish way of life from the very beginning.
Illusion of Innocence 2: The Amish Way
For all their appearances, with their drab dresses and delicate hair-nets for girls and suspenders and carefully groomed facial-hair for boys, Amish teens face the same coming-of-age dilemmas that face every American teen. To help rebellious kids "get it out of their system" without giving them ultimatums that could drive them away from the community, the Amish have a few outlets. One is the various "hoedowns" that take place every year throughout the mid-west and Pennsylvania. These massive parties aren't just for teenagers, but many adult and devout Amish would probably rather not attend.
Some teens come from hundreds of miles around to attend with thousands of party-people attending. Obviously, there's no party without alcohol, and the tenuous relationship that the Amish have with substance abuse is evidenced by their lack of experience and understanding surrounding this.
Every year, there are alcohol-related incidents surrounding the hoedowns that are exacerbated by the Amish rejection of hospitals and law-enforcement, and while alcohol may be the most frequent culprit there is an increasing epidemic of illegal substance abuse amongst young Amish. While it's understandable that the Amish wish to deal with these issues internally, I'm not certain they are truly equipped to handle the situation.
Rumspringa
While the studio tries to over-play the drama of the emotional anguish felt by these young Amish over deciding between their austere upbringing and the world unknown, this is a completely normal situation that faces every Amish young adult. This period of exploration into the unknown and ultimate decision about whether to remain in the Amish community is called "Rumspringa" or "Rumschpringe." This loosely translates into English as "hopping around" and is an important rite of passage for any young Amish.
The decision to stay in the Amish community must be a voluntary one— they can kick you out, but they can't make you stay. Reassuringly, the majority of youths in Rumspringa eventually return to the community and accept baptism, becoming a consummate member of the Amish community and accepting the rights and responsibilities that come with it.
Obviously, for the show, Breaking Amish, many of the cast members were already too old to still be on Rumspringa, and any kind of "venturing out" or rejection of Amish ways for a confirmed anabaptist would result in immediate shunning and being ostracised from their community. This is another clear indicator that the pasts of cast members like Jeremiah (who was 32 at the start of the show) were not as clear-cut and traditionally Amish as the producers would have had us believe.
Looking the part
The restrictive dress code is probably the most well-known and recognizable aspect of Anabaptist culture and is a source of great spectacle to the "English" public. For this reason, the producers of Breaking Amish have increasingly encouraged (RE: forced) their cast-members— specifically, the female ones, to maintain their Amish dress throughout the seasons.
Even during Rumspringa, it is not formally allowed to dress "English" (English is a derogatory term used by Amish to describe outsiders and heathens), but the way the studios enforce this is most definitely based on the outsider's impression of how Amish should look and behave. In the case of Katie, we were shown a deliberately plain-looking girl in traditional Amish dress at the beginning so that we could witness her transformation into..... well, not wearing much at all.
In the case of "perfect" Iva, from Breaking Amish LA, we are frequently shown her in Amish dress as a picture of perfect innocence— although, we also see her frequently dressing "English" throughout the show also. This is a case where the studio's rules fall somewhat in line with the actual Amish rules, albeit for completely different (and far more cynical) reasons. I would say though, that Iva looks beautiful in her red dress— proof that women don't have to look like peasants and milk-maids while obeying tradition (although, the makeup is a different story).
Breaking Amish LA: A different approach
Despite the arguably "rocky" start to the show, scandal didn't stop viewers from tuning in to see what happens to our plucky pseudo-Amish friends in Manhattan and it garnered enough views to spawn several spin-off shows. One of these is Breaking Amish: LA, which takes place in... you guessed it— Los Angeles. One can't help but notice that the producers took a different approach with casting this show, embodied by the cast-members, Iva and Matt. Matt and Iva didn't have the same spotty past and tenuous relationship with their Amish communities.
Iva's family members are Amish bakers with their own successful business within the community and beyond. Iva's goal is to continue the family business on her own two feet, breaking into the Californian market while remaining true to her roots and her family recipes.
Matt, while unusual for an Amish man (but not forbidden), has a love for fashion and brings his sewing machine with him to California to try and break into the fashion world. The clothes he makes include some more muted menswear but cannot be described as "strictly Amish." In the case of each cast-member from Breaking Amish: LA, whether it be Devon, Lizzie, Betsy or the aforementioned Iva and Matthew, the producers definitely tried to pick people who were more representative of Amish values when casting the new show.
Well, almost.
Breaking Amish LA wasn't all scandal-free however, perhaps, despite her best intentions the cast member, Lizzie, started a relationship with Hodge James— a non-Amish African-American man. When Lizzie became pregnant, she could no longer hide her pre-marital relationship with Hodge from her family and much drama ensued. In true reality TV fashion, the producers at TLC focused on this aspect of Lizzie's time in LA— making sure they got every grizzly detail of a situation that was very personal. It's hard to say what would have been more traumatizing for Lizzie's family— that she was in a relationship with a non-Amish man having a child out of wedlock, or that there were outsiders invading their privacy and putting it on display for the world to see.
Lizzie went on to say that it was the treatment by her brother that hurt her the most— that he treated her with anger and contempt after hearing the story. In defense of Lizzie, he wasn't much of an example himself, as upon arriving in LA, he immediately set out to lose his virginity. He wouldn't be the first religious fundamentalist to display such hypocrisy, but it does go to show that this kind of adventure is on the minds of all young people— and the Amish are not immune. As you can see, Lizzie later married Hodge after the birth of their son, Kaden, and her parents are much, much happier about that.
Reality TV 101: Milk it.
Of course, there couldn't be just one spin-off from such a successful show. The contracts for cast-members put their lives on display for a time until TLC decides that there's no longer any money in it. Return to Amish was made as a follow-up to the original show, including all the original cast-members whom, strangely enough, had all returned to Pennsylvania, apart from Katie, who remained in Manhattan to pursue her now very successful modeling career.
Just because they were back in Pennsylvania, however, did not mean they were leading model Amish lives— where's the fun in that? More drama and scandalous activity happens here and this time there is no attempt or need to hide it. Jeremiah is up to his usual macho mischief— bragging about being unfaithful to his wife, Carmela, then getting in a huge fight with her. Rebecca takes her GED, something made remarkable only by the mere fact that she's Amish and Sabrina has to fight for custody of a baby she just gave birth to. All in a regular day's work for the cast of Return to Amish. Of course, we can still speculate as to how much of this was engineered by the producers, but we get the impression by now that perhaps drama really does just follow these people around without any need for encouragement.
Cover-ups and damage control
Right from the start of the first season, when doubts were first cast about the authenticity of the show, TLC spin-doctors and PR-pundits immediately set about deciding what they would and would not confirm about the rumors surrounding their various cast-members. Perhaps, the studio thought that their fellow Amish wouldn't have televisions to watch the lies or computers with which to speak the truth, but there were a lot of fellow and former Amish community members who quickly spoke up to denounce the show as a fraud.
TLC dealt with these accusations in typical damage-control style, arguing that they needed to find cast-members who had already decided that breaking away from their Amish community was something they might want to do. However, there is a distinct difference between "breaking Amish" and "broken Amish."
This is most obvious with Jeremiah and Sabrina— a Puerto-Rican girl adopted by Mennonite parents who had been married in 2009, which somehow, TLC managed to more-or-less bury and was never brought up on the show. This was unlike the case of Abe and Rebecca, who already had a daughter together (quite an accomplishment for two people who "just met"), and the studio magically inserted the kid into the second season of the show.
Ultimately, it's not that people are stupid enough to believe everything they are shown, it's just that they don't care that much, and good reality drama is good reality drama whatever the pretext. In fact, most of the uproar surrounding the show's initial release came from either Amish communities feeling they were being portrayed in a bad light (an understandable point of view) and media outlets who wanted to scorn the show as "trash television."
Rebuilding a wholesome image of Amish
TLC knew they would have to inject a new dose of authenticity into their new show, Breaking Amish LA, or there would be no demand for it. While there is still drama like the case of Lizzie, it's not drama that is dug up from the past, but rather, a drama we get to follow from the very beginning. The producers carefully selected cast-members who were still a part of their respective Amish communities this time around, and we get to see them struggle with such dilemmas as, "Will Iva be allowed to take authentic Amish lard with her on the plane to California?" the lard being an essential ingredient to her family recipes.
Even Matthew, with his "passion for fashion"— something completely foreign to the Amish and in stark contrast to rules like "vanity is a sin"— comes off as a wholesome lad with no of the bad-boy spotty history of a guy like Jeremiah.
This may indeed be a reason for a lack of renewed interest in the show. Many of the cast come across as simply normal people with fairly normal aspirations, and the show didn't garner the same kind of attention (and therefore ratings) that the original cast did. This was no doubt a reason for bringing the old cast back for Return to Amish which, technically, was the third season of "Breaking Amish". It would appear that the appeal of such an interesting group of people went beyond their humble beginnings as simple folk and the numerous controversies no-doubt provided an incentive to keep watching.
Out with the new, in with the old
Disregarding the spin-offs, Return to Amish is now in its third season, and its the fifth season, in total, that includes the original cast members. By now, we've learned more about our favorite Anabaptists than we know about ourselves, but this is part of the appeal of continuing a show like this. We've followed these people for such a time that we feel like we know them— and TLC realizes this. The key component to any reality show isn't the premise, it's the people.
There will always be the question of "what happens next?" because all of these people will keep on leading their lives. At this point, it doesn't seem to bother those involved that TLC has constant tabs on their lives, and even other family members have signed contracts to make extensive appearances on the show. Cast members that had previously said they would not return for subsequent seasons (Sabrina was absent for season four and Mary had said that season four would be her last) all returned in season five, so one can only assume that TLC offered them the right price and gave them a contract that made sure they stick around. While there is a definite Truman Show feel to seeing the lives of these people exposed for all to see, there is still a very scripted vibe to the show and all of the main characters are fully aware that everything they do is either filmed or reported on.
If you tell the story— you own the story
If TLC do one thing better than anyone else— it's turning drama and controversy into money. In the case of television shows, money comes from ratings. So long as people get all their Breaking Amish news and gossip from the show itself, then TLC is getting money. This is exemplified by the way they handled the release of snippets of cast members' pasts during the course of the first season. Many of the things that questioned the authenticity of the show right from the start were turned around to benefit the show and the network.
Over the course of the first season, we are given small hints at their pasts, through the medium of the various group discussions that are had on the show. We find out that Jeremiah had, indeed, been married before. We discover that Katie lived in Florida for a time when she was given a DUI (I'm not sure which is worse for the Amish— drinking or driving?) and several of the cast members touch on the fact they would frequently dress "English" and sneak out of the village at night to go to parties or go bowling— explaining the abundant and otherwise contradictory photos of them in regular clothes that could be found online (so someone apparently had a camera and an internet connection too, although, this is never explained...)
Backing the right horse
If there is one absolute certainty surrounding the casting of the original Breaking Amish show, it's that Katie Stoltzfus (now Kate Stoltz) is a stunning girl, and every bit the model she had always planned on becoming. Kate's rise to stardom has been every bit as much a boon to the show, as it is an insult to the Amish way of life. Katie has truly "broken Amish" (one of her fellow Amish cast-members comments upon seeing her in the newspaper that she will probably become an adult film star) and never looked back. Some old-fashioned influence can be seen in the lingerie that she models, but this is certainly just to cash in on her heritage, rather than pay homage to it.
Having Katie return for every season of the show is essential to maintaining interest in it, and TLC have made absolutely sure they hold on to their golden girl. It's not like Katie has out-grown her TV appearances either, and any way she can remain in the spotlight will help her career across the board. There's not much chance of the public getting bored of her either— Return to Amish is as much about following a successful Manhatten model as it is about the lives of simple folk doing simple folk things, and that's the biggest draw the show has to date.
Be afraid, be very afraid
The producers of Breaking Amish go to great lengths to show us two contradictory sides of the cast-members— one is of people "just like you and me" where they dress "English," go for coffee and out to bars, have fun, and enjoy city life. The other is of a "fish out of water" where TLC go to great lengths to emphasise (and exaggerate) how intimidating the outside world is to the cast.
Many of the more scripted feeling scenes from the show fall into the latter category— like Katie struggling with an elevator in season one, despite the fact that numbers and arrows are not exactly quantum physics. The producers make huge efforts to remind us that the Amish are "backward" and "naive" and many over-dramatised incidents on the show would be banal and ridiculous to most of us (like getting a GED or baking a traditional pie).
This juxtaposition of conflicting lifestyles is essential to making Breaking Amish an interesting show to watch, without ever putting either lifestyle in too negative a light. The show might play off of Amish stereotypes but it never goes so far as to have its cast-members criticise their Amish elders nor angrily reject western life as degeneracy. The main emotion on the show with regard to "English" life is fear rather than contempt. TLC make great efforts to portray these people as vulnerable and therefore relatable, rather than angry or bigoted. Even the most innocuous comments from the cast are carefully constructed to fit a narrative that straddles both worlds.
Scratch my back and I'll scratch yours
One place where credit should be given to TLC— however restrictive their hold on the lives of these people may seem— is in the opportunities the show has given all these young Amish people that they would never have had otherwise. Looking at people like Katie, the model, Iva, the baker, and Matt, the fashion designer; none of these people would have been able to break into their respective fields without the help of the show.
Exposure is not the only thing they got out of it, as the studio bankrolled much of their journey and was responsible for the meetings and signings that ensued. Katie, for example, had tried on several occasions to get noticed by New York model agencies without success— until she landed her place on the original season of Breaking Amish.
Whatever TLC asked in return, it's hard to see Katie ever regretting the money, success, and exposure she has received as a result of the show. Similarly, Iva and Matt would have likely never even made it to California with their dreams if it hadn't been for Breaking Amish LA. Even Mary, the mother of Abe, clearly got more and more time on the show because she wanted it, and became almost a main cast member by the fourth season.
Not all sunshine and rainbows
Even for those who have most benefited from the show, it's hard to argue that all this media coverage never made things worse for them. No intimate family matter can ever be helped by putting it on a TV screen with a large audience (see any episode of Maury for proof of this), but that didn't stop the cast from spilling all their beans all over the screen time and again. However, those affected most negatively are most certainly the people around them involved in these various dramas from the past and present, but who don't benefit from TV contracts and super exposure.
One example is Jeremiah's wife from before the show, with whom he has three children. Over the course of the 5-year run of the show, Jeremiah has made many disparaging remarks about his ex, both on- and off-camera.
She has, of course, fired back, but there really wasn't ever any demand for her side of the story. Perhaps, it's for the best that she never features on the show, as she is quite clearly done with Jeremiah (she filed for divorce herself, citing neglect and incompatibility) and has been leading a life of her own for many years now. The Amish families of other cast members have also had mixed reactions to their relatives so wantonly flouting the traditions of Amish culture.
What becomes of the broken Amish
Life under the tight fist of TLC network execs and the harsh scrutiny of the public has been a rocky five years for the original cast of Breaking Amish. Jeremiah went through several relationships before finally marrying Carmela, and then breaking up over an incident that happened after filming on the most recent season (there were accusations of domestic abuse). Katie continues to remain in New York and snub her Pennsylvania roots. Mary may have caused the banishment of her Amish boyfriend, Chester. Rebecca failed her GED but plans to re-take it and then go to college, while Abe gives up his trucking job to spend more time with her and the kids.
It definitely seems like there is still no shortage of drama for these people— and no shortage of good television for TLC. While it does seem unlikely that the show will run for decades like some of the greatest TV-soaps have done, there is certainly some life left in the show— and money left in the contracts of its cast members. If none of the cast has gotten sick of doing the show yet, then they probably never will so it's really up to the network when the plug gets pulled. Don't expect TLC to let go of their favorite broken Amish just yet.
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